Death of a MSU Student

Yesterday was just another normal day... or so it started. I was running a little late for class because I wanted to fill out my March Madness Bracket before the games began. My first class begins at 9:30 a.m. So, I filled it out and started to head towards class. I caught up with my boyfriend and then he went to his class. My class was further across campus. I came upon the Fine Arts Building and the Library. Things seemed a little odd, but at the time I didn't think much of it. Police sirens started to go off... but only like the little beeping that basically means move out of the way. I started to cross the Quad, when I saw a police car coming down the sidewalk. I was really curious and began to wonder what was going on, but again, I was trying to get to class because I was running late. So I'm sitting in class and the professor was a tad late so I was on my phone. I then get a text from my boyfriend saying, "Somebody jumped out the window at fine arts. They are dead." I was in shock. It was very surreal. You see movies and sometimes hear of things, but this happened in my little town and at my college. Moments before I had just passed the location where the person was found dead. It is still very hard to believe, but it is a reality.

My thoughts were going crazy in class. It was very hard to concentrate. I had another class right after the one I was in. I called my mom and talked to her before class started. Once my 2nd class started, I had even more trouble paying attention. I was on my phone the entire time. I kept refreshing Facebook, waiting to see an article or who the person was. Finally, a name was released... Jacob Derting. I had no idea who the individual was, but I was very saddened. A life had been taken. Someone had lost a son, a brother, a friend. Classes were then canceled for the remainder of the day.

Yesterday was a very busy day for me. Emotions were very mixed. Murray State had won their first round in the tournament. Alpha Gam won sorority division and overall step show champions. So I was very happy, but at the same time, someone had died. So obviously I was saddened for the family and that someone was hurting so bad that they felt their only solution was death.

There is a reason I am writing this post.. I am a very hard-headed individual; however, I do feel that I am very open-minded. I really do try to understand and help others. I found myself talking to someone yesterday about suicide. Here is my general opinion and thoughts about it up to that conversation:

Suicide is a choice. An individual makes a decision to take their own life for whatever reason. Of course I feel sorry for the family and the individuals affected by the suicide. However, I would look down on the person or feel anger, in a sense, that someone would do something like that. I viewed suicide as a very selfish decision. I had no remorse for someone who could do such a thing.

Well, I spent most of last night reading all of the articles that were posted about the incident. I even read the forums online that I found where people were discussing it. It may seem really weird but I even found Jacob Derting on Facebook and looked at his page. Something in me just changed. I saw things in a new light. I guess I became more understanding. Here are my views now:

I still feel that an individual makes the decision to end their life. I still feel that it is a very selfish decision. In no way do I ever think it should be/is acceptable. I think people need to realize something. A person who commits suicide feels that death is their only option or it is the only thing that will take their pain away. Do you understand that statement? Don't just read it; understand it. Someone is hurting so bad that they would rather be dead. Once someone hits a state of depression so low, the way they see life becomes skewed. They lose the ability to take a step back and get a new perspective on the situation. They have lost all hope.

While reading the forums, a lot of people had the same views that I had previously had. They didn't feel sorry for the person and were very harsh. I think people need to start taking a step back. You never know what someone is going through, even people you know. We live in a society where people bash others and don't care how their actions affect the people around them. We see someone who is different from us, someone who looks weird, and the list can go on. People judge people every day. I am guilty as well.

Example: I saw someone just last night that looked weird. They had crazy hair, etc. From my perspective, they were a freak. When I caught myself saying that. I felt instant guilt. I have no right to judge someone. People have the right to be who they want to be. If they are not harming anyone else or themselves, then there is no reason why they shouldn't keep that right. So what if someone is different. You don't have to like everyone, but you should have respect. Don't make fun of people and don't make them feel weird and alone. Just be nice. It really is simple. 

Every individual is unique. Don't get me wrong, we don't live in a perfect society and there are some actual sickos out there in the world. I just think that people should stop being so quick to judge. You don't know what the person next to you or even what your best friend is going through. Watch your actions and words. Don't do things to hurt other people. Let those around you know that they are loved and be honest with them. If you are going through something, reach out for help. I promise you, there is someone that cares, there is someone that loves you. And don't you dare read this and say, "Oh well this doesn't apply to me" or "She doesn't know me, I really don't have anyone..." Because you are wrong. Don't feel alone. This can be a cruel world. One person can't take this world on by himself/herself. If you are reaching out and no one is listening, "scream louder." Make someone listen to you because you're important and your life matters.

I'll leave you guys with this... It went around Facebook a while back and I think it puts things into perspective. Your actions matter.
"The boy you punched in the hall today... committed suicide a few minutes ago.
That girl you called a slut in class today... she's a virgin.
The boy you called lame... he has to work every night to support his family.
That girl you pushed down the other day... she's already being abused at home.
That girl you called fat... she's starving herself.
The old man you made fun of because of the ugly scars... he fought for our country.
The boy you made fun of for crying... his mother is dying.
You think you know them. Guess what? You don't!
Take a stand against bullying."